Thanksgiving

Well, tonight I had Thanksgiving dinner with my family! Loved having everyone around, laughing and having a great night.

As per usual, they asked where Ben was, since is now the fourth time I've come up to visit since I moved to Canada and he's not come with me. In the past, I'd just lie and said he had no vacation time, just cause I felt bad. But, he always had vacation time, or at the least, he could have come up unpaid, like I have in the past. But alas, he hasn't. And honestly don't know why he hasn't come with me in the past... :(

But anyways, so after we had finished eating dinner, my mother and one of my uncles was in the kitchen (which is right where the dining room is). My aunt started to ask me questions about where Ben was and why he wasn't here. I had been waiting all night for someone to ask, cause I knew this time I wasn't going to cover for him anymore. I hated lying to my family. So, this time, I said that we were separating, that this time next weekend, I'll be moving out.

My aunt who had asked me was simply stunned, and clearly heartbroken. She pulled me from the table and to the living room privately to talk. I dissolved into tears and told her it's been a hard few years. Told her about Ben being more interested in 13 year old girls than working on our marriage. Etc, etc. She couldn't believe it. After a few minutes, she went to fetch my mother and then transferred my crying self to my mom's shoulder, and then told my mom about what was happening. She was flabbergasted. And I felt so bad since my own parents are divorced (have been for about 13 years now).

Anyways, after cleaning up my very wet face, I returned to the table and we continued on with our night. After everyone had left besides my dad and me, my aunt called the house. She suggested that we go for a walk tomorrow, just her, me, and my mom. So, it's best I get going to bed to prepare myself for what will likely be an emotional day.

Despite the crying, I had a great dinner. Loved being around all my family (minus my grandmother who passed away this February [miss you grandma!!!!]). And despite all the teasing we do with one another, still wouldn't change them for the world :)