Birthday

Well, with 13 minutes to go, I almost made it my entire birthday without shedding a tear. Kept myself distracted for the most part until the very end...

Had a nice day otherwise. Watched Big Bang Theory with my dad in the morning, had Pizza Pockets for lunch, headed to the theater with my mom to watch the new Dracula movie, went out to a Japanese restaurant with my parents, and then ended the night just watching a TV show and movie by myself in my room.

I got a lot of happy birthdays on Facebook, sure, but something was still missing. And I've held it together pretty well I had thought the past few days. But today it was hard. I miss being in a relationship... with someone I love and who loves me back.

Ben barely texted me today. I was weirdly hoping that as the clock struck midnight, that I would get some text message, Facebook post, or email from him wishing me a happy birthday. But no. It was only at like 9:30am Eastern time in which he texted me happy birthday. And it wasn't much of a text. Just good morning and happy birthday. And now I'm the big 26. On Facebook at some point, he asked me if I felt older. He left a post on my Facebook wall at some point wishing me happy birthday there too. And then he asked me what my plans were early afternoon, right before the movie. But, after I got out of the movie around 3ish, I haven't heard a peep from him.

And I get I'm moving out and all that jazz, but it still hurts. Probably more than I want to admit. It just sucks that he cares so little of me now... This entire time I've been to Canada, he's barely sent me any text messages. And I know I shouldn't care, but I do. I don't know why, but I'm always checking my phone, to see if he's sent me a text message... but nothing. *sigh*

Well, it's midnight now. No longer my birthday. Hopefully next year I'll feel special, truly special.