Stopped by the property management office of my last apartment with a letter in tow signed by both myself and Ben stating I had moved out, took the cat with me, and he's taking full responsibility of the lease now. Also dropped off all my keys. *sigh* Never thought I'd be in that situation where I'd have to do that. But, it had to be done.
Besides that, been settling in this past week. Since Sunday, I've only gotten like a box or two unpacked. I did most of it over the weekend, and it's just the less important stuff to unpack now.
And my sweet cat, Catniss, is settling in nice. She was really nervous the first day or two. She's still exploring a bit (like the tops of my kitchen counters the other day, haha). It's a much smaller apartment than our last one, so hopefully that won't be an issue.
And oh, on Monday, I got the key fob to the gym! The key fob machine wasn't working when I was there last week to sign the lease. And although the gym isn't in my apartment building (it's in the rental office building like a 2 minute walk away), it's still nice cause it's free :D So, yesterday I decided to take advantage of that. As soon as I got home from work, I got into some work clothes and walked over. They have some ellipticals, which is my machine of choice, lol, so worked out on that for 20 minutes. Then took a nice shower once I got back home. I didn't go today (had errands to run after work which took about an hour), but I'll see about tomorrow!
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Saturday, October 18, 2014
All moved in!
Phew, what a day! I'm completely exhausted!
Reserved the cargo van rental from U-Haul for 9:15am, so no sleeping in. By the time we got the U-Haul and returned back to our apartment, we started loading around 10ish.
On our way back up the stairs to get more stuff, Ben was on his phone texting. Every time. It was absolutely ridiculous. Like come on, focus on helping me move and put the phone away for a few hours.
After bringing the first set of boxes to my apartment and unloaded everything, it was around 11 and as we were both starving, we headed out to lunch (where you guessed it, he was still texting). Anyways, we picked up my new mattress, box spring, and frame at a local furniture store, then headed back to our apartment to finish loading everything (and yes, once again, Ben was still texting).
This was our second and last trip, phew. After everything was inside my new apartment, we set up the bed frame. Once it was done, Ben announced that he needed to make a phone call. I was like, can you at least help me put the box spring on the frame so I could start putting the bed skirt on that. He said sure. So, after the box spring was down, he headed out into the hallway. The building hallway. He said he wouldn't take long. Yeah, okay, I know how that goes.
I managed to put the bed skirt on my box spring, put a mattress protector on my mattress. I then manhandled putting the mattress on top of the box spring all by myself. I proceeded to then get all the sheets and the comforter on. I even got all the hangers up in my closest and was maybe 1/3 through getting my clothes hung up when Ben finally returned. About 45 minutes later... His only words in regards to the call was "well, that was not fun". I didn't even inquire about what he meant. I'm assuming his 13 year old "friend" had another mental breakdown or something.
Anyways, at that point, it was getting late. About 4:30 and I had the rental until 7, so we headed back to U-Haul to return it. We then went out for supper at a local restaurant (where yes, Ben texted frequently) and before heading home, stopped at a Best Buy cause Ben wanted to look at monitors (thankfully didn't buy anything). I then drove Ben back to his apartment. Managed to find a few of my things in his boxes (from our move back in March up to Fargo), so got all that in a bag. And then said goodbye and left alone to my own apartment.
Yes, I'm grateful that Ben helped me move (no way would I have been able to do all that on my own), but it would have been nice if he had put his phone away for most of it. Oh well. This is the reason why I moved out, so why should I expect anything different?
Tomorrow I'll be returning to pick up kitty stuff and the cat herself. Thought it'd be best if she stayed one more night there to give me a chance to unpack stuff. Got everything in the bedroom pretty much unpacked. There's still quite a few boxes out in the kitchen/living room area though. Might tackle some more boxes in the morning before lunch and heading out to his place. We'll see though. I'm pretty exhausted, so XD
Reserved the cargo van rental from U-Haul for 9:15am, so no sleeping in. By the time we got the U-Haul and returned back to our apartment, we started loading around 10ish.
On our way back up the stairs to get more stuff, Ben was on his phone texting. Every time. It was absolutely ridiculous. Like come on, focus on helping me move and put the phone away for a few hours.
After bringing the first set of boxes to my apartment and unloaded everything, it was around 11 and as we were both starving, we headed out to lunch (where you guessed it, he was still texting). Anyways, we picked up my new mattress, box spring, and frame at a local furniture store, then headed back to our apartment to finish loading everything (and yes, once again, Ben was still texting).
This was our second and last trip, phew. After everything was inside my new apartment, we set up the bed frame. Once it was done, Ben announced that he needed to make a phone call. I was like, can you at least help me put the box spring on the frame so I could start putting the bed skirt on that. He said sure. So, after the box spring was down, he headed out into the hallway. The building hallway. He said he wouldn't take long. Yeah, okay, I know how that goes.
I managed to put the bed skirt on my box spring, put a mattress protector on my mattress. I then manhandled putting the mattress on top of the box spring all by myself. I proceeded to then get all the sheets and the comforter on. I even got all the hangers up in my closest and was maybe 1/3 through getting my clothes hung up when Ben finally returned. About 45 minutes later... His only words in regards to the call was "well, that was not fun". I didn't even inquire about what he meant. I'm assuming his 13 year old "friend" had another mental breakdown or something.
Anyways, at that point, it was getting late. About 4:30 and I had the rental until 7, so we headed back to U-Haul to return it. We then went out for supper at a local restaurant (where yes, Ben texted frequently) and before heading home, stopped at a Best Buy cause Ben wanted to look at monitors (thankfully didn't buy anything). I then drove Ben back to his apartment. Managed to find a few of my things in his boxes (from our move back in March up to Fargo), so got all that in a bag. And then said goodbye and left alone to my own apartment.
Yes, I'm grateful that Ben helped me move (no way would I have been able to do all that on my own), but it would have been nice if he had put his phone away for most of it. Oh well. This is the reason why I moved out, so why should I expect anything different?
Tomorrow I'll be returning to pick up kitty stuff and the cat herself. Thought it'd be best if she stayed one more night there to give me a chance to unpack stuff. Got everything in the bedroom pretty much unpacked. There's still quite a few boxes out in the kitchen/living room area though. Might tackle some more boxes in the morning before lunch and heading out to his place. We'll see though. I'm pretty exhausted, so XD
Friday, October 17, 2014
Friday night
Another busy night for me. I had errands to run, and again, Ben asked to tag along. Said he wanted to go to Target (one of the places I was going).
So, first went to UPS to pick up a package. Then went to a friend's place to borrow a crescent wrench so I can take my handheld shower head off, put the old one back on, then install mine in my new apartment. Headed to Target to return the utensil organizer (too big for the drawer) and a broken bowl. Got what I needed there. Ben decided to buy the new Keurig 2.0 (basically $200), and it came with a $35 gift card that he let me use to pay for my $28 purchase. So woohoo to that! :)
We then met up with previously mentioned friend and her husband at a restaurant to have a quick supper. Once we were done, Ben and I headed to my apartment with the stuff I got at Target. Since my internet was supposed to be installed by 5pm today, we were going to set that up, but Ben then realized that the modem router I bought wasn't going to work as it was meant for cable internet, but I was getting DSL *head desk*
So, we went back to Target to return the modem router I bought, and since they sold no DSL modem routers, we headed to Best Buy where I bought another one. Since I was tired of driving, we didn't go test it. So, hopefully that works!
And just an FYI, as with yesterday, while I was driving and we were walking around, Ben was on his phone again. Even while at the restaurant with his friends.
And just an FYI, as with yesterday, while I was driving and we were walking around, Ben was on his phone again. Even while at the restaurant with his friends.
And as soon as we got back, Ben said he was going to go out and buy some gas. The gas station is maybe a total roundtrip drive of 5 minutes. So, include time to fill up and pay, and maybe 10 minutes in total. Yeah, Ben finally got back home... nearly 3 hours later.... O_o Still texting too... and when I jokingly asked if he went to a gas station an hour away, he merely said 'yeah'. Didn't give any explanation for his 3 hour absence. Okie dokie then...
Update: he's now in the kitchen setting up his new Keurig with his phone plugged into the wall socket on the counter. Apparently he killed his battery while he was out for 3 hours. I suspect he was on call with someone...
Update: he's now in the kitchen setting up his new Keurig with his phone plugged into the wall socket on the counter. Apparently he killed his battery while he was out for 3 hours. I suspect he was on call with someone...
Recap
So, it's been quite a few busy days lately, so it's been hard for me to write a post. I'm going to just write everything in one post instead of separating them out.
First up. My return flight was on Tuesday, leaving Montreal at 5pm. When I got to my gate around 3:30pm, Ben still had not texted ONE WORD to me that day. I was almost going to board without even telling him, but thought it'd probably be best to tell him (especially since he was to pick me up at 11pm). Anyways, so, ended up having to deplane as a leak was discovered (and was going to take at least 2 hours to fix, thus likely missing my connection). When I told Ben we were deplaning, he didn't seem too concerned about what was happening. Whereas my mom and dad (who I was texting as well) were freaking out a bit, asking me what was to happen with my second flight and a hotel in Minneapolis (where I was connecting). Ben on the other hand barely asked me any questions about what was going on. So, that was awesome. Anyways, after many updates to new departure times, we finally left Montreal at 10:45 (nearly 6 hours later). When I got to Minneapolis, I immediately texted both my parents and Ben that I had landed. My mother had previously told me if she didn't answer when I landed, it was because she was fast asleep. My dad replied right away that he was happy I landed safely and to have a good night and to text him in the morning. I didn't hear a peep from Ben, even after I got to my hotel for the night, an hour later. [I later found out the next day he had erratic sleeping patterns while I was away, so thus why he didn't reply... Alriiiight -_-]
Anyways, so the next morning, I had gotten to my gate at Minneapolis and still hadn't heard a word from Ben. So, even though I didn't want to text him, out of spite, I still did, cause as I mentioned above, he was picking me up from the airport and all. So, less than 2 hours later, I finally made it to Fargo. On the ride back to the apartment, I talked about the flight and stuff for the first minutes, then we kinda lapsed into weird silence. He unlocked the apartment doors for me, and after using the bathroom, he left for work. Once I did get to work, it took awhile for him to strike a conversation up on Google Hangouts.
Weirdly, he got really chatty after work when we both went to Papa John's to pick up some pizza for supper. So, no awkward silence in the car there, thank goodness.
Oh, and before we had supper, I had gone to my new apartment to sign some papers and do a walk-through!!! So, that was the highlight of my day. Got my brand new keys as well as a gifted water bottle :)
Yesterday, I called up an internet company here in town to get internet service for my new apartment. They said I should have internet by today at 5pm. And since I would have my own modem router, nobody was needed to come to my apartment (which I had been worried about since I might have to miss work for to meet them at the apartment 10 minutes away). So, yay!
So, yesterday afternoon, I had planned to go to two furniture stores to see their selection of mattresses and couches, then head on over to the Target and Walmart in Moorhead (lower sales tax!) to get a couple required items. Ben asked if he could tag along (since he had nothing else to do). He spent most of that time texting other people as I drove around, while we had supper, while I was shopping *sigh*
Anywho, bought a mattress and frame in one of the stores and I'll be picking it up on Saturday (I'm renting a cargo van from U-haul on Saturday!), to save like $50 in delivery fees. Then got some stuff at Target and Walmart. After we were done, I drove to my new apartment to drop off everything as well as to show Ben the place since he hadn't seen it yet. Upon getting to the apartment, I discovered the utensil organizer I bought was too big for my drawers (d'oh!) as well as finding one of the bowls I bought had a large crack in two places :( So, I'll be going back to Target this evening to return the two items.
Oh! Before I forget, Ben did do one nice thing yesterday. As we were heading up to the checkout lanes at Walmart, Ben told me that since he didn't get anything for my birthday (glad he remembered that fact), he would pay for my purchase, which ended up being $60, so that was nice :)
Anyways, think that's it for updates. I'm sure I'm forgetting something, haha.
Excited to move tomorrow! Will be a busy night tonight packing, since I didn't get a chance to pack the last 2 nights XD
First up. My return flight was on Tuesday, leaving Montreal at 5pm. When I got to my gate around 3:30pm, Ben still had not texted ONE WORD to me that day. I was almost going to board without even telling him, but thought it'd probably be best to tell him (especially since he was to pick me up at 11pm). Anyways, so, ended up having to deplane as a leak was discovered (and was going to take at least 2 hours to fix, thus likely missing my connection). When I told Ben we were deplaning, he didn't seem too concerned about what was happening. Whereas my mom and dad (who I was texting as well) were freaking out a bit, asking me what was to happen with my second flight and a hotel in Minneapolis (where I was connecting). Ben on the other hand barely asked me any questions about what was going on. So, that was awesome. Anyways, after many updates to new departure times, we finally left Montreal at 10:45 (nearly 6 hours later). When I got to Minneapolis, I immediately texted both my parents and Ben that I had landed. My mother had previously told me if she didn't answer when I landed, it was because she was fast asleep. My dad replied right away that he was happy I landed safely and to have a good night and to text him in the morning. I didn't hear a peep from Ben, even after I got to my hotel for the night, an hour later. [I later found out the next day he had erratic sleeping patterns while I was away, so thus why he didn't reply... Alriiiight -_-]
Anyways, so the next morning, I had gotten to my gate at Minneapolis and still hadn't heard a word from Ben. So, even though I didn't want to text him, out of spite, I still did, cause as I mentioned above, he was picking me up from the airport and all. So, less than 2 hours later, I finally made it to Fargo. On the ride back to the apartment, I talked about the flight and stuff for the first minutes, then we kinda lapsed into weird silence. He unlocked the apartment doors for me, and after using the bathroom, he left for work. Once I did get to work, it took awhile for him to strike a conversation up on Google Hangouts.
Weirdly, he got really chatty after work when we both went to Papa John's to pick up some pizza for supper. So, no awkward silence in the car there, thank goodness.
Oh, and before we had supper, I had gone to my new apartment to sign some papers and do a walk-through!!! So, that was the highlight of my day. Got my brand new keys as well as a gifted water bottle :)
Yesterday, I called up an internet company here in town to get internet service for my new apartment. They said I should have internet by today at 5pm. And since I would have my own modem router, nobody was needed to come to my apartment (which I had been worried about since I might have to miss work for to meet them at the apartment 10 minutes away). So, yay!
So, yesterday afternoon, I had planned to go to two furniture stores to see their selection of mattresses and couches, then head on over to the Target and Walmart in Moorhead (lower sales tax!) to get a couple required items. Ben asked if he could tag along (since he had nothing else to do). He spent most of that time texting other people as I drove around, while we had supper, while I was shopping *sigh*
Anywho, bought a mattress and frame in one of the stores and I'll be picking it up on Saturday (I'm renting a cargo van from U-haul on Saturday!), to save like $50 in delivery fees. Then got some stuff at Target and Walmart. After we were done, I drove to my new apartment to drop off everything as well as to show Ben the place since he hadn't seen it yet. Upon getting to the apartment, I discovered the utensil organizer I bought was too big for my drawers (d'oh!) as well as finding one of the bowls I bought had a large crack in two places :( So, I'll be going back to Target this evening to return the two items.
Oh! Before I forget, Ben did do one nice thing yesterday. As we were heading up to the checkout lanes at Walmart, Ben told me that since he didn't get anything for my birthday (glad he remembered that fact), he would pay for my purchase, which ended up being $60, so that was nice :)
Anyways, think that's it for updates. I'm sure I'm forgetting something, haha.
Excited to move tomorrow! Will be a busy night tonight packing, since I didn't get a chance to pack the last 2 nights XD
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Thanksgiving
Well, tonight I had Thanksgiving dinner with my family! Loved having everyone around, laughing and having a great night.
As per usual, they asked where Ben was, since is now the fourth time I've come up to visit since I moved to Canada and he's not come with me. In the past, I'd just lie and said he had no vacation time, just cause I felt bad. But, he always had vacation time, or at the least, he could have come up unpaid, like I have in the past. But alas, he hasn't. And honestly don't know why he hasn't come with me in the past... :(
But anyways, so after we had finished eating dinner, my mother and one of my uncles was in the kitchen (which is right where the dining room is). My aunt started to ask me questions about where Ben was and why he wasn't here. I had been waiting all night for someone to ask, cause I knew this time I wasn't going to cover for him anymore. I hated lying to my family. So, this time, I said that we were separating, that this time next weekend, I'll be moving out.
My aunt who had asked me was simply stunned, and clearly heartbroken. She pulled me from the table and to the living room privately to talk. I dissolved into tears and told her it's been a hard few years. Told her about Ben being more interested in 13 year old girls than working on our marriage. Etc, etc. She couldn't believe it. After a few minutes, she went to fetch my mother and then transferred my crying self to my mom's shoulder, and then told my mom about what was happening. She was flabbergasted. And I felt so bad since my own parents are divorced (have been for about 13 years now).
Anyways, after cleaning up my very wet face, I returned to the table and we continued on with our night. After everyone had left besides my dad and me, my aunt called the house. She suggested that we go for a walk tomorrow, just her, me, and my mom. So, it's best I get going to bed to prepare myself for what will likely be an emotional day.
Despite the crying, I had a great dinner. Loved being around all my family (minus my grandmother who passed away this February [miss you grandma!!!!]). And despite all the teasing we do with one another, still wouldn't change them for the world :)
As per usual, they asked where Ben was, since is now the fourth time I've come up to visit since I moved to Canada and he's not come with me. In the past, I'd just lie and said he had no vacation time, just cause I felt bad. But, he always had vacation time, or at the least, he could have come up unpaid, like I have in the past. But alas, he hasn't. And honestly don't know why he hasn't come with me in the past... :(
But anyways, so after we had finished eating dinner, my mother and one of my uncles was in the kitchen (which is right where the dining room is). My aunt started to ask me questions about where Ben was and why he wasn't here. I had been waiting all night for someone to ask, cause I knew this time I wasn't going to cover for him anymore. I hated lying to my family. So, this time, I said that we were separating, that this time next weekend, I'll be moving out.
My aunt who had asked me was simply stunned, and clearly heartbroken. She pulled me from the table and to the living room privately to talk. I dissolved into tears and told her it's been a hard few years. Told her about Ben being more interested in 13 year old girls than working on our marriage. Etc, etc. She couldn't believe it. After a few minutes, she went to fetch my mother and then transferred my crying self to my mom's shoulder, and then told my mom about what was happening. She was flabbergasted. And I felt so bad since my own parents are divorced (have been for about 13 years now).
Anyways, after cleaning up my very wet face, I returned to the table and we continued on with our night. After everyone had left besides my dad and me, my aunt called the house. She suggested that we go for a walk tomorrow, just her, me, and my mom. So, it's best I get going to bed to prepare myself for what will likely be an emotional day.
Despite the crying, I had a great dinner. Loved being around all my family (minus my grandmother who passed away this February [miss you grandma!!!!]). And despite all the teasing we do with one another, still wouldn't change them for the world :)
Friday, October 10, 2014
Birthday
Well, with 13 minutes to go, I almost made it my entire birthday without shedding a tear. Kept myself distracted for the most part until the very end...
Had a nice day otherwise. Watched Big Bang Theory with my dad in the morning, had Pizza Pockets for lunch, headed to the theater with my mom to watch the new Dracula movie, went out to a Japanese restaurant with my parents, and then ended the night just watching a TV show and movie by myself in my room.
I got a lot of happy birthdays on Facebook, sure, but something was still missing. And I've held it together pretty well I had thought the past few days. But today it was hard. I miss being in a relationship... with someone I love and who loves me back.
Ben barely texted me today. I was weirdly hoping that as the clock struck midnight, that I would get some text message, Facebook post, or email from him wishing me a happy birthday. But no. It was only at like 9:30am Eastern time in which he texted me happy birthday. And it wasn't much of a text. Just good morning and happy birthday. And now I'm the big 26. On Facebook at some point, he asked me if I felt older. He left a post on my Facebook wall at some point wishing me happy birthday there too. And then he asked me what my plans were early afternoon, right before the movie. But, after I got out of the movie around 3ish, I haven't heard a peep from him.
And I get I'm moving out and all that jazz, but it still hurts. Probably more than I want to admit. It just sucks that he cares so little of me now... This entire time I've been to Canada, he's barely sent me any text messages. And I know I shouldn't care, but I do. I don't know why, but I'm always checking my phone, to see if he's sent me a text message... but nothing. *sigh*
Well, it's midnight now. No longer my birthday. Hopefully next year I'll feel special, truly special.
Had a nice day otherwise. Watched Big Bang Theory with my dad in the morning, had Pizza Pockets for lunch, headed to the theater with my mom to watch the new Dracula movie, went out to a Japanese restaurant with my parents, and then ended the night just watching a TV show and movie by myself in my room.
I got a lot of happy birthdays on Facebook, sure, but something was still missing. And I've held it together pretty well I had thought the past few days. But today it was hard. I miss being in a relationship... with someone I love and who loves me back.
Ben barely texted me today. I was weirdly hoping that as the clock struck midnight, that I would get some text message, Facebook post, or email from him wishing me a happy birthday. But no. It was only at like 9:30am Eastern time in which he texted me happy birthday. And it wasn't much of a text. Just good morning and happy birthday. And now I'm the big 26. On Facebook at some point, he asked me if I felt older. He left a post on my Facebook wall at some point wishing me happy birthday there too. And then he asked me what my plans were early afternoon, right before the movie. But, after I got out of the movie around 3ish, I haven't heard a peep from him.
And I get I'm moving out and all that jazz, but it still hurts. Probably more than I want to admit. It just sucks that he cares so little of me now... This entire time I've been to Canada, he's barely sent me any text messages. And I know I shouldn't care, but I do. I don't know why, but I'm always checking my phone, to see if he's sent me a text message... but nothing. *sigh*
Well, it's midnight now. No longer my birthday. Hopefully next year I'll feel special, truly special.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Trip to Canada / Holidays
So, this time tomorrow, I'll be on my way to Canada to spend my birthday (the 10th) as well as Thanksgiving on Monday (Canadian Thanksgiving for the non-Canadian readers out there :P). It'll be my first holiday spent with my family in four years, so I'm quite excited! :)
At this point, I think it's best that I don't go to [American] Thanksgiving and Christmas with my husband to his family's house, like we have every time in the past. I don't know if he's told any of his family or not (or if he will by then), but it'll be awkward for me nonetheless pretending that we're all happy and such. Meanwhile, he'll be on his phone the entire time, I'm sure, texting people. And I'd rather not have to deal with that at all. So, I'll celebrate the holidays at my new home, with my cat instead!
So, besides this last night before my trip, I'll only have a few more nights next week and then I'll finally be sleeping in my own apartment!!
Oh, and one thing that I'm looking forward to the most I think about this trip: getting a hug from my dad tomorrow when he picks me up at the airport. It'll be my first human contact in a few weeks (even longer if you don't include all the characters that I gave hugs to while at Disney). Sad, eh?
At this point, I think it's best that I don't go to [American] Thanksgiving and Christmas with my husband to his family's house, like we have every time in the past. I don't know if he's told any of his family or not (or if he will by then), but it'll be awkward for me nonetheless pretending that we're all happy and such. Meanwhile, he'll be on his phone the entire time, I'm sure, texting people. And I'd rather not have to deal with that at all. So, I'll celebrate the holidays at my new home, with my cat instead!
So, besides this last night before my trip, I'll only have a few more nights next week and then I'll finally be sleeping in my own apartment!!
Oh, and one thing that I'm looking forward to the most I think about this trip: getting a hug from my dad tomorrow when he picks me up at the airport. It'll be my first human contact in a few weeks (even longer if you don't include all the characters that I gave hugs to while at Disney). Sad, eh?
Monday, October 6, 2014
Not gonna miss this...
So, when I got home from work, I was prepping a package I was mailing to a friend (selling her my old phone). Halfway through, Ben left for supper at the newly opened Panda Express. It's about a 10 minute drive away. And being a fast food place, it'd take like what, 30 minutes max to order, receive your food and eat it?
Well, he left at 5ish, and it's now 7pm. Over 2 hours and he's still not home.
In that amount of time, I was able to go to the local grocer, mail off two packages, go to a restaurant myself, eat, then go over to Best Buy to browse their selection of TVs, modem routers, etc, and come home.
Yeah, definitely not going to miss wondering where he is, and more importantly, WHO he is with, even if it's someone on the other end of his iPhone or iPad. Oh, and did I mention, since he got him this weekend, his iPad is nowhere to be seen. I suspect he left it in his car. Probably using it right now at the restaurant to Skype/Facetime.
*sigh* Less than 2 weeks to go and I should be living on my own...
Update: Finally, after 3.5 hours, he came home at 8:30pm with a Starbucks cup in tow. Guess I know where he spent the rest of the evening after supper...
Well, he left at 5ish, and it's now 7pm. Over 2 hours and he's still not home.
In that amount of time, I was able to go to the local grocer, mail off two packages, go to a restaurant myself, eat, then go over to Best Buy to browse their selection of TVs, modem routers, etc, and come home.
Yeah, definitely not going to miss wondering where he is, and more importantly, WHO he is with, even if it's someone on the other end of his iPhone or iPad. Oh, and did I mention, since he got him this weekend, his iPad is nowhere to be seen. I suspect he left it in his car. Probably using it right now at the restaurant to Skype/Facetime.
*sigh* Less than 2 weeks to go and I should be living on my own...
Update: Finally, after 3.5 hours, he came home at 8:30pm with a Starbucks cup in tow. Guess I know where he spent the rest of the evening after supper...
Sunday, October 5, 2014
10 Dating Habits
Saw this shared on my Facebook feed today. Sadly, never exactly experienced any of these. Maybe for the next time?
Driving to visit a friend
So, a few days ago, Ben told me he was going to Watertown (where we lived before this, about a 2 hour drive south) this weekend to meet up with a friend. Then a day or two after he told me, he said he was going to sleep over the night at his grandmother's (about a 30 minute drive north of Watertown).
On one hand, I was happy to have this weekend to myself (less stress if he's not around), but on the other hand, I was angry. He has absolutely no issue driving like 4 hours round trip, spending money on gas, just to hang out with some friend for like an hour or two. Like, really?
And unfortunately, this isn't the first time where he's driven that far to meet up with a friend. And each time I think about it, it reminds me of when I was stuck in Canada waiting for my visa. Because, in the 9 months I was waiting, Ben only came up to visit me five times. Comparing to that most Canadian/American relationships on VisaJourney (immigration forum I'm joined to), that's extremely low (seemed like most Can/Am couples visited each other like once a month or more). And four out of those five times, I think he only came because I asked him to. First time he came on his own free will. That was the day I got denied the second time at the border. He decided he'd drive up to Winnipeg and then take a flight from there to Montreal. I felt so special. But after that, it seemed like such a big deal for him to fly to spend some time with me. Yes, I get flying wasn't cheap, but I had spent a couple thousand dollars to spend weekends with him before we got married.
So, I always think, he's so willing to drive 2 hours to meet up with a FRIEND yet I feel like it was so difficult for him to come visit me, his WIFE.
Oh well, that's in the past now. Hopefully this is the last time I have to deal with him driving far to visit a friend. Hopefully, just two more weeks and I'll be living on my own, away from all this ridiculousness!
On one hand, I was happy to have this weekend to myself (less stress if he's not around), but on the other hand, I was angry. He has absolutely no issue driving like 4 hours round trip, spending money on gas, just to hang out with some friend for like an hour or two. Like, really?
And unfortunately, this isn't the first time where he's driven that far to meet up with a friend. And each time I think about it, it reminds me of when I was stuck in Canada waiting for my visa. Because, in the 9 months I was waiting, Ben only came up to visit me five times. Comparing to that most Canadian/American relationships on VisaJourney (immigration forum I'm joined to), that's extremely low (seemed like most Can/Am couples visited each other like once a month or more). And four out of those five times, I think he only came because I asked him to. First time he came on his own free will. That was the day I got denied the second time at the border. He decided he'd drive up to Winnipeg and then take a flight from there to Montreal. I felt so special. But after that, it seemed like such a big deal for him to fly to spend some time with me. Yes, I get flying wasn't cheap, but I had spent a couple thousand dollars to spend weekends with him before we got married.
So, I always think, he's so willing to drive 2 hours to meet up with a FRIEND yet I feel like it was so difficult for him to come visit me, his WIFE.
Oh well, that's in the past now. Hopefully this is the last time I have to deal with him driving far to visit a friend. Hopefully, just two more weeks and I'll be living on my own, away from all this ridiculousness!
Friday, October 3, 2014
:D
Just as I was getting off work and into my car, my phone rang. I quickly picked it up. It was the apartment people! And, and, I GOT THE APARTMENT!!!! :D
Since the apartment won't be ready right away, and I'm leaving for about a week to go to Canada this Wednesday, we booked the 15th at 5pm for me to come over and sign everything and do a walk-through of the apartment. Yay, can't wait!
As much as I wanted to move this weekend, I don't have a choice. At least this way will give me more time to pack I guess, haha.
Woooo, weekend is off to a great start!!!
Since the apartment won't be ready right away, and I'm leaving for about a week to go to Canada this Wednesday, we booked the 15th at 5pm for me to come over and sign everything and do a walk-through of the apartment. Yay, can't wait!
As much as I wanted to move this weekend, I don't have a choice. At least this way will give me more time to pack I guess, haha.
Woooo, weekend is off to a great start!!!
10.3.14 Morning
Oh, we've completely upgraded this morning to no words at all. That's right, he said absolutely nothing to me this morning.
If I didn't log onto Google chat, where we talk at work, barely anything would be said all day between us...
If I didn't log onto Google chat, where we talk at work, barely anything would be said all day between us...
10.2.14
So, last night.
Before leaving home from work, Ben told me he needed to talk to a co-worker. This was before 4:30 (when we usually get off work). I ended up staying at work a bit longer, so by the time I got home, it was around 5pm. He still hadn't come home. Talking with a "co-worker", eh? Not sure I believe that...
Anyways, once he did get back home, he fiddled on his computer for awhile before saying he was going out to have steak. So, he left. For quite awhile. I cooked myself pasta at home. Once I was done, I started to pack some boxes!
He finally came home while I was in the midst of packing. Think it caught him by surprise as I was right in the kitchen doing it. Asked if I was doing some pre-packing. I'm thinking to myself, no, I'm packing, packing. I just said out loud 'yeah' XD
For a few minutes, he stood by the door fiddling with something. I just ignored him. From the corner of my eye, I saw some kind of booklet or manual thingy that folded out quite a bit. I didn't ask anything about it. Which is what he probably wanted as he stood by the door for so long. I just kept packing around him.
When I was done (for the night) with the kitchen, I moved on to the bedroom to pack some of my clothes. Got my largest suitcase out and started with the back of the closest with my dresses and such that I don't exactly wear everyday. As I was finishing up, Ben creeped into the bedroom to take a peek. I just ignored him and continued on, hehe.
After my suitcase was done, I decided to call it quits for the night as I was a little sweaty at this point. So, took a shower and headed to the computer room. About an hour later, Ben turned his computer off and left. He went into the living room, as per usual, but didn't turn the PS4 on or anything. Left the lights off. I did hear him talking quietly, so the whole talking on the phone was still happening.
About an hour later, I was ready for bed, so I brought a dish into the kitchen and closed the blinds in the living room. At some point, Ben had gone into the bedroom. As soon as he heard the blinds being closed, he came out, figured I was going into the bedroom. Not just quite yet though. I went back to the computer room, and shut down my computer. Closed the blinds in there, turned the lights off, and shut the door. Ben was still standing in the living room, waiting.
As I headed into the bedroom, I saw him head into the computer room, turning the lights on, still on the phone. *rolls eyes*
After I read for a bit, I turned the lights off, and rolled ever to go to sleep. Within a few minutes, Ben finally came in as well, finally ending his like 2 hour long phone call >_<
Before leaving home from work, Ben told me he needed to talk to a co-worker. This was before 4:30 (when we usually get off work). I ended up staying at work a bit longer, so by the time I got home, it was around 5pm. He still hadn't come home. Talking with a "co-worker", eh? Not sure I believe that...
Anyways, once he did get back home, he fiddled on his computer for awhile before saying he was going out to have steak. So, he left. For quite awhile. I cooked myself pasta at home. Once I was done, I started to pack some boxes!
He finally came home while I was in the midst of packing. Think it caught him by surprise as I was right in the kitchen doing it. Asked if I was doing some pre-packing. I'm thinking to myself, no, I'm packing, packing. I just said out loud 'yeah' XD
For a few minutes, he stood by the door fiddling with something. I just ignored him. From the corner of my eye, I saw some kind of booklet or manual thingy that folded out quite a bit. I didn't ask anything about it. Which is what he probably wanted as he stood by the door for so long. I just kept packing around him.
When I was done (for the night) with the kitchen, I moved on to the bedroom to pack some of my clothes. Got my largest suitcase out and started with the back of the closest with my dresses and such that I don't exactly wear everyday. As I was finishing up, Ben creeped into the bedroom to take a peek. I just ignored him and continued on, hehe.
After my suitcase was done, I decided to call it quits for the night as I was a little sweaty at this point. So, took a shower and headed to the computer room. About an hour later, Ben turned his computer off and left. He went into the living room, as per usual, but didn't turn the PS4 on or anything. Left the lights off. I did hear him talking quietly, so the whole talking on the phone was still happening.
About an hour later, I was ready for bed, so I brought a dish into the kitchen and closed the blinds in the living room. At some point, Ben had gone into the bedroom. As soon as he heard the blinds being closed, he came out, figured I was going into the bedroom. Not just quite yet though. I went back to the computer room, and shut down my computer. Closed the blinds in there, turned the lights off, and shut the door. Ben was still standing in the living room, waiting.
As I headed into the bedroom, I saw him head into the computer room, turning the lights on, still on the phone. *rolls eyes*
After I read for a bit, I turned the lights off, and rolled ever to go to sleep. Within a few minutes, Ben finally came in as well, finally ending his like 2 hour long phone call >_<
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Apartment Call
Well, this morning, I got a call from the apartment where I applied. My heart was thumping as the guy introduced himself. He called because he couldn't quite read the phone number of my previous landlord in South Dakota (he tried calling, but it said that number was disconnected). I explained my soon-to-be ex-husband gave that number to me, so if that number isn't working, maybe they can find another one. I ended up asking Ben over chat to give me the landlord's number and when I read it off on the phone, the guy exclaimed as he had been reading one number wrong.
Anyways, he said that besides contacting that landlord and waiting on the criminal history to return, he said everything was looking great and that hopefully I hear back before this weekend!
I am soooo relieved to hear that the application was going well :)
*keeping my fingers crossed I hear the words 'approved' and before this weekend*
Anyways, he said that besides contacting that landlord and waiting on the criminal history to return, he said everything was looking great and that hopefully I hear back before this weekend!
I am soooo relieved to hear that the application was going well :)
*keeping my fingers crossed I hear the words 'approved' and before this weekend*
Not gonna be a third time
After talking with a friend last night, I realized I've now been cheated on twice. Not physically either time (as far as I know), but most definitely emotionally. I doubt he even considers what he's doing as cheating, but being that he's spending pretty much every second he's home either messaging or talking with these girls, and barely saying two words to me, I'd say yes, that's most definitely cheating.
But this will be the last time...
But this will be the last time...
So few words, so much action
Only four words were spoken to me from my husband this morning.
A few minutes after he checked his phone (has to reply to those 13 yo girls, ya know, can't delay on that!!) and I made the bed, as I was passing through the kitchen to the computer room, he said 'good morning' (or just 'morning', which reduce the word count to three).
Then later on when I sneezed, he said 'bless you'.
Meanwhile, he was messaging these girls on his computer/phone.
Yay me. /sarcasm
A few minutes after he checked his phone (has to reply to those 13 yo girls, ya know, can't delay on that!!) and I made the bed, as I was passing through the kitchen to the computer room, he said 'good morning' (or just 'morning', which reduce the word count to three).
Then later on when I sneezed, he said 'bless you'.
Meanwhile, he was messaging these girls on his computer/phone.
Yay me. /sarcasm
Last hug...
Last night, I realized the last hug I've gotten was at Disney World from Jessie (Toy Story). How sad is that?
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Personal Loan
So, after realizing how many costs I'm going to incur with this moving out (rent, deposit, pet deposit, bed, furniture, etc), I thought it might be best if I apply for a personal loan.
I made an appointment for yesterday, Tuesday, at my Wells Fargo bank. I was in and out within 20 minutes. The banker said I'd hear back either later that evening or tomorrow morning.
Well, yesterday evening came and went and no call. And this morning came and went with no call. Finally got a call in the afternoon.
With bad news... :(
My application was denied :( Apparently I had too high of a debt to income ratio, so they couldn't approve me. I was completely devastated.
I was hoping to get a loan so I could pay off first month's rent, the deposit, and get everything I needed. But alas, things are going to be a little harder now. Ben offered to give me his $500 in his savings, but I declined. He already sent me $200 for the pet deposit, and I feel like that enough tainted money as it is...
I still have about $600 to pay off from my Florida trip, but at this point, I'm probably going to have to hold off.
I have enough in my savings to cover first month's rent. And then I'll be getting paid this Thursday, and hopefully that covers the $300 deposit (I'm only getting half the amount this paycheck since it includes the one week I was in Florida, unpaid). As for the furniture and stuff I'll need, I'll get the bare minimum and charge it. I'll likely won't be able to pay off all my credit cards on time (like I usually do), so I'll be incurring some interest for a couple months I'm guessing.
So, hopefully this new plan works out.
Now, just to hear back from the apartment. I hope this debt to income ratio doesn't hurt my apartment application....
I made an appointment for yesterday, Tuesday, at my Wells Fargo bank. I was in and out within 20 minutes. The banker said I'd hear back either later that evening or tomorrow morning.
Well, yesterday evening came and went and no call. And this morning came and went with no call. Finally got a call in the afternoon.
With bad news... :(
My application was denied :( Apparently I had too high of a debt to income ratio, so they couldn't approve me. I was completely devastated.
I was hoping to get a loan so I could pay off first month's rent, the deposit, and get everything I needed. But alas, things are going to be a little harder now. Ben offered to give me his $500 in his savings, but I declined. He already sent me $200 for the pet deposit, and I feel like that enough tainted money as it is...
I still have about $600 to pay off from my Florida trip, but at this point, I'm probably going to have to hold off.
I have enough in my savings to cover first month's rent. And then I'll be getting paid this Thursday, and hopefully that covers the $300 deposit (I'm only getting half the amount this paycheck since it includes the one week I was in Florida, unpaid). As for the furniture and stuff I'll need, I'll get the bare minimum and charge it. I'll likely won't be able to pay off all my credit cards on time (like I usually do), so I'll be incurring some interest for a couple months I'm guessing.
So, hopefully this new plan works out.
Now, just to hear back from the apartment. I hope this debt to income ratio doesn't hurt my apartment application....
Separation
So, I decided to create a blog to chronicle my feelings about the end of this journey... my marriage. Since I can't exactly post to Facebook and don't have many people to talk to, I thought the best I could do instead was to create a blog and let my feelings out as they come.
Before I do, I should probably explain the situation up until now. This will be long. Warning has been given.
My husband and I met online through a mutual friend we both knew from the game World of Warcraft. This was back in January 2010. Said friend posted something on Facebook that was World of Warcraft related and I made a comment on it. My husband, Ben, made a comment as well, and within a few hours, I had received a friend request from him, which I accepted.
We quickly began talking and soon found myself flying to South Dakota in March for our first in-person visit. It became quite clear we had developed deep feelings for one another. After much discussion, we looked into spousal visas for me to move to the US, which meant that we needed to get married. Since the immigration process was going to be long enough, we decided to do a simple courtroom marriage. So, we got engaged in April and married the next month, in May. To make a long story short, after a lengthy immigration process, I was finally able to move to the US in May 2011, right before our first year wedding anniversary (which we ended up spending at his co-worker's cabin in Minnesota for the weekend -_- not exactly what I was looking forward to, but he seemed oblivious to how important our first year wedding anniversary was...).
So, everything seemed to go well at first. After spending 9 months of our first year of marriage apart (he only came to visit me in Canada five times, and just for a few days each time), we were finally together. Unfortunately, this euphoria didn't last long. Around the fall some time, he stopped saying 'I love you' and stopped holding my hand and such. Soon after, before Christmas, he told me the heart-wrenching news: he stopped having feelings for me. A break was discussed, but nothing really ever came of it. We just kind of plowed on with our lives.
And then early May 2012 arrived. At our apartment, we had our computers set up back-to-back. One night, while I was over his shoulder, I saw a message that had just come through on Facebook from one of his friends that lived in a city about 2 hours south. It said along the lines of "I'm going to take a shower, want to join me?" I quickly turned around, pretending I didn't see it. He quickly shut down his computer. My heart was thumping. I didn't do or say anything for the rest of the night. The next morning, while he was in the shower, I checked his phone. He had sent a couple text messages to her apologizing for leaving so quickly but I had been over his shoulder when she sent that message. She asked in return if I had seen it, and he replied with no. As soon as he went off to work, I logged onto his computer and his Facebook account. I soon found myself extremely nauseous with the conversations they had. Not only were they talking inappropriately and saying things like "when/if you divorce...", but I also found out that he had gone to visit her on weekends while I was at work. I felt so sick that day that I couldn't even eat lunch. At the time, I was still joined to an immigration forum that I had joined when we first had started the visa process. I wanted some advice, so I created a thread discussing what had happened and what I found. After many responses, I decided that once Ben got home from work, we needed to talk. So, we did. When I first asked about the message, he lied and pretended she was just kidding. That's when I confronted him saying I knew the truth. After much discussion, we decided it'd probably be best to separate. Yet, later that evening, I got an email from him saying he had found that thread on the immigration forum I had created and said he realized what he had done, etc etc, and wanted to work on it. So we tried. It got a little better, but nothing like it once was.
Two years passed and on our 4th anniversary, after giving me some presents, he said 'I love you' for the first time in about 2.5 years. We said it back and forth over the next few weeks, but sadly, it didn't last long and it tapered off to nothing after awhile.
And then enter Minecraft. I will forever hate this game.
So, I can't recall when, but it was sometime at the end of summer in which Ben started to talk to these 13 (or so) year old girls from the game. And as is usual with him, he added them onto Facebook. And then began the constant talking. Then added on Skype. Then he started to even talk to them. And all this time, I'm just sitting alone in the computer room.
It escalated one weekend, part of it because of his interactions with them and in part due to me feeling extremely left out while his family was up in town visiting one weekend and I got called into work for a couple hours. I did the whole silent treatment the next day and when Ben left to go out, he texted me what was wrong. I then explained how I felt left out and such. I believe that night we talked again and concluded that divorce might be the best option.
So, I started looking for apartments. After finishing up one visit over the weekend, I got a text from him saying maybe we shouldn't be hasty and try working on things. So, I stopped looking at apartments. A couple weeks later, I went on a solo trip to Orlando to visit Disney and Universal.
My first night back was absolute crap. While at dinner, he was texting the entire time with a friend. I was so disappointed because I wanted to talk about my trip, but alas no. And once we got back home, he spent the entire evening out in our living room playing on his new PS4 and talking on Skype or FaceTime with one of those girls. I just felt utterly crushed, and on my first night back as well...
It unfortunately did not get any better the rest of the week. He pretty much spent every single night out in the living room, talking to this girl, and messaging them. Meanwhile, I'm sitting alone in the computer room, contemplating looking at apartments again.
That Friday, I received an email from him while I was at work. Part of it was written before my trip, but he didn't want to send it so I can enjoy my trip to the fullest (gee, thanks). The rest was written afterwards. Basically saying we probably rushed into our marriage, neither of us are happy, etc etc. He suggested we should take a break and see how things go.
So, the apartment search resumed. I looked at a few more just this past weekend and decided to apply for one on Monday night. Still waiting to hear back. Keeping my fingers crossed my application gets accepted!
Before I do, I should probably explain the situation up until now. This will be long. Warning has been given.
My husband and I met online through a mutual friend we both knew from the game World of Warcraft. This was back in January 2010. Said friend posted something on Facebook that was World of Warcraft related and I made a comment on it. My husband, Ben, made a comment as well, and within a few hours, I had received a friend request from him, which I accepted.
We quickly began talking and soon found myself flying to South Dakota in March for our first in-person visit. It became quite clear we had developed deep feelings for one another. After much discussion, we looked into spousal visas for me to move to the US, which meant that we needed to get married. Since the immigration process was going to be long enough, we decided to do a simple courtroom marriage. So, we got engaged in April and married the next month, in May. To make a long story short, after a lengthy immigration process, I was finally able to move to the US in May 2011, right before our first year wedding anniversary (which we ended up spending at his co-worker's cabin in Minnesota for the weekend -_- not exactly what I was looking forward to, but he seemed oblivious to how important our first year wedding anniversary was...).
So, everything seemed to go well at first. After spending 9 months of our first year of marriage apart (he only came to visit me in Canada five times, and just for a few days each time), we were finally together. Unfortunately, this euphoria didn't last long. Around the fall some time, he stopped saying 'I love you' and stopped holding my hand and such. Soon after, before Christmas, he told me the heart-wrenching news: he stopped having feelings for me. A break was discussed, but nothing really ever came of it. We just kind of plowed on with our lives.
And then early May 2012 arrived. At our apartment, we had our computers set up back-to-back. One night, while I was over his shoulder, I saw a message that had just come through on Facebook from one of his friends that lived in a city about 2 hours south. It said along the lines of "I'm going to take a shower, want to join me?" I quickly turned around, pretending I didn't see it. He quickly shut down his computer. My heart was thumping. I didn't do or say anything for the rest of the night. The next morning, while he was in the shower, I checked his phone. He had sent a couple text messages to her apologizing for leaving so quickly but I had been over his shoulder when she sent that message. She asked in return if I had seen it, and he replied with no. As soon as he went off to work, I logged onto his computer and his Facebook account. I soon found myself extremely nauseous with the conversations they had. Not only were they talking inappropriately and saying things like "when/if you divorce...", but I also found out that he had gone to visit her on weekends while I was at work. I felt so sick that day that I couldn't even eat lunch. At the time, I was still joined to an immigration forum that I had joined when we first had started the visa process. I wanted some advice, so I created a thread discussing what had happened and what I found. After many responses, I decided that once Ben got home from work, we needed to talk. So, we did. When I first asked about the message, he lied and pretended she was just kidding. That's when I confronted him saying I knew the truth. After much discussion, we decided it'd probably be best to separate. Yet, later that evening, I got an email from him saying he had found that thread on the immigration forum I had created and said he realized what he had done, etc etc, and wanted to work on it. So we tried. It got a little better, but nothing like it once was.
Two years passed and on our 4th anniversary, after giving me some presents, he said 'I love you' for the first time in about 2.5 years. We said it back and forth over the next few weeks, but sadly, it didn't last long and it tapered off to nothing after awhile.
And then enter Minecraft. I will forever hate this game.
So, I can't recall when, but it was sometime at the end of summer in which Ben started to talk to these 13 (or so) year old girls from the game. And as is usual with him, he added them onto Facebook. And then began the constant talking. Then added on Skype. Then he started to even talk to them. And all this time, I'm just sitting alone in the computer room.
It escalated one weekend, part of it because of his interactions with them and in part due to me feeling extremely left out while his family was up in town visiting one weekend and I got called into work for a couple hours. I did the whole silent treatment the next day and when Ben left to go out, he texted me what was wrong. I then explained how I felt left out and such. I believe that night we talked again and concluded that divorce might be the best option.
So, I started looking for apartments. After finishing up one visit over the weekend, I got a text from him saying maybe we shouldn't be hasty and try working on things. So, I stopped looking at apartments. A couple weeks later, I went on a solo trip to Orlando to visit Disney and Universal.
My first night back was absolute crap. While at dinner, he was texting the entire time with a friend. I was so disappointed because I wanted to talk about my trip, but alas no. And once we got back home, he spent the entire evening out in our living room playing on his new PS4 and talking on Skype or FaceTime with one of those girls. I just felt utterly crushed, and on my first night back as well...
It unfortunately did not get any better the rest of the week. He pretty much spent every single night out in the living room, talking to this girl, and messaging them. Meanwhile, I'm sitting alone in the computer room, contemplating looking at apartments again.
That Friday, I received an email from him while I was at work. Part of it was written before my trip, but he didn't want to send it so I can enjoy my trip to the fullest (gee, thanks). The rest was written afterwards. Basically saying we probably rushed into our marriage, neither of us are happy, etc etc. He suggested we should take a break and see how things go.
So, the apartment search resumed. I looked at a few more just this past weekend and decided to apply for one on Monday night. Still waiting to hear back. Keeping my fingers crossed my application gets accepted!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)